Yes, of course you are. But depending on how you are listening is the difference between just hearing voices and deeply understanding and perceiving meaning. This is what occurs the better we become at listening. The value proposition of great listening skills is that you gather data and knowledge others miss while increasing your ability to empathize and connect with others. All of which have huge benefits in business.
I’ve observed and learned over time that there are basically three types or modes of listening. The simplest level of listening I call “hearing voices”. A bit higher level of listening has us going beyond just hearing, to focusing on the words being spoken. Finally, the highest level of listening allows us to observe, understand and perceive meaning in depth.
Here is a closer look at each of these levels of listening as well as an exercise you can do to experience the value and differences of each.
Level 1: Hearing Voices
This is the simplest and most common type of listening most of us do throughout our workday. We passively 'hear' the message of the speaker, but we are also having other thoughts come and go. We entertain those thoughts within our heads, let them take us on thought tangents, and often distract us from what is really being said. You may not even be making eye contact with the speaker. We see this in meetings all the time. A room with ten people, all on their laptops or smartphones while someone up front is speaking or presenting. Let’s give it a try.
Use the following Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtBS8COhhhM This is Prince Andrews of the British royal family In an interview with BBC Newsnight's Emily Maitlis
UK regarding his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and the scandal that surrounded his arrest and subsequent suicide in jail.
Choose anywhere in the video to start. Most important is that you listen for one minute and stop when that minute has passed. Using a timer can help. While watching the interview, have your email open, or phone available. Listen to the interview but let your mind wander if it chooses to do so. When a minute has passed, stop the video and write down what you captured from the interview.
Level 2: Listening to Words
This level of listening takes things up a notch. It requires that you really concentrate on all of the words that are being spoken. In this mode, you consciously bring yourself back to the speaker every time you find your mind wandering. You do not allow yourself to multi-task, though you may have your phone nearby.
Give this mode a try by watching another minute of the Youtube interview. You can listen to the same minute of interview you listened to previously or select a new minute of the interview.
Focus your concentration on capturing all that’s being said, the words being spoken. Force yourself to minimize mental distractions and desires to multi-task. When a minute has passed, stop the video and write down what you captured from the interview. Is anything different from what you captured from your first “Hearing Voices” exercise?
Level 3: Listening, Observing and Understanding Meaning
Also known as “Active Listening”, listening, observing and understanding meaning requires more energy and concentration and has the listener rely on all of their senses to take in data. You are fully concentrating on the speaker and what is being said rather than just passively 'hearing' the message of the speaker or listening for the words spoken. In this mode, you pay close attention to the speaker’s tone of voice as it changes, their body language, facial movements and expressions and cadence and pace of speech. That’s a lot to take in and it takes considerably more energy.
Now it’s time to go all in with your listening and expand it further by watching another minute of the Youtube interview. Again, you can use the same minute as before or choose a new minute of the interview.
This time watch the speaker. Focus and follow all of the words they are speaking. Pay close attention to their tone, body language, facial movement, cadence and pace of their speech. Make inferences about what this additional information reveals. When a minute has passed, stop the video and write down what you remember and take away from the minute of interview you just listened to. Compare and contrast what you took away from each exercise. It is likely that the quality of the information you gathered increases with each exercise.
With the information gathered from listening, observing and Understanding you not only take in more information, but you process that information towards a deeper understanding. You are able to interpret the meaning behind the words and infer intentions. The information can be used to ask better, deeper questions in all areas of business conversations. You can cue in on the emotional and psychological state of the speaker, allowing you to empathize and connect more deeply regardless of whether you agree or disagree with what’s being said.
It’s important to state that the difference in these three modes of listening is the effectiveness and depth of knowledge being gathered. One is not better than the others. Each has its place in our lives and at work. The higher the mode you go, the more practice it takes. And the higher the mode you deploy the more depth, understanding and meaning you will take away. Consciously choose which mode you are going to deploy depending on the context and situation you are in. If it’s a casual light-hearted conversation with a friend or co-worker, you can use level 1 listening and allow yourself the freedom to relax and enjoy. However, if you are in a work meeting or an important situation you’ll likely want to use level 2 or 3 listening. The results are tangible.
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