A Victim Of Circumstance

I've been a victim of circumstance.

I hear a lot of people talking about a change in their values brought on by the circumstances of the pandemic crisis.

My values haven’t changed. My awareness and consciousness has.

What I mean by this is that the values of compassion, caring, empathy, life, and family to name a few are at the forefront of what I want to guide my behavior as a result of this pandemic circumstance. These values have always been present within me since a young age. They are part of what my parent and upbringing have instilled in me.

So why was I not as aware of these values or acting in alignment with them as much as I believe I should have before the pandemic? Why, if I had been asked about my values prior to the pandemic, would I have led with things like achievement, realizing my potential, integrity, and health?

Nothing wrong with those values, but there is a difference. The difference is the focus of these two lists of values. Prior to the pandemic I was more focused on values that were about me. Now I’m more focused on values about others.

But I always would have agreed that the values contained in both lists matter to me, and many more than those. As I acted, I allowed the situational context, the cirumstance to determine an unconscious prioritization of the values I would act upon.

As the pandemic took hold, I reflected on the situational context and circumstances we are living in right now and realized the role they play, but I also realized a more important role that I was abdicating.

I was abdicating my role of conscious choice. Therefore, I was being led around by the nose of context and circumstance instead of participating with conscious choice. I was unconsciously focusing on more selfish values than selfless values before.

And that unconscious focus can lead to suffering because the selfless values did matter to me a great deal and I was not prioritizing them. My unconscious mind and self could tell and would send messages of frustration and anxiety because I was not in alignment with what really mattered to me.

My reflection revealed that my values haven’t really changed. I was instead reminded of who chooses to prioritize them, me.

Once the pandemic passes, I hope to maintain the same prioritization as it puts others before myself, which is the order that best provides me with a meaningful purpose, a greater sense of gratitude, and the humility I want to feel in my interactions with all people.