I recently had a conversation with a friend wherein we were discussing what it means to “thrive” in midst of this pandemic. As a leader of an organization contemplating this topic, I realized its meaning for me is central to leaders being resilient in the face of challenge. And at the same time its meaning doesn’t change due to our circumstances. Thriving is an attitude, a focus on our ability to choose how we fulfill our hopes and dreams for the future. It’s importance is elevated during the challenging times we are living through with the COVID-19 pandemic.
My understanding of what it means to thrive comes from a lifetime of learning, and in fact is directly connected to learning. Without learning, I feel I cannot thrive. At the same time, I came to see that I often misconstrued “thriving” with other states that are not thriving, falling into a trap of self-doubt and emotional paralysis. None of which helps me serve others.
It is my hope that this article provokes a discussion about what it means to thrive as a leader, to lead a thriving team and organization and to be resilient in the face of challenge and change. I do not claim myself to be thriving or resilient. Instead, I am sharing my understanding of these terms and their impact on our posture towards learning and growth in business with the hope that we deepen our understanding and practice of thriving leadership.
So let me begin here. Let me begin with what my understanding of thriving is not, though at times has been confused to mean for me.
Thriving is not...
Surviving. Getting the basics taken care of to stay alive. In my youth, I used to believe that I could be happy just surviving. I then came to question that notion. Surviving is not a very high bar for a life I want to say has been well lived. Isn't the point to thrive and not just survive? For me, surviving is not thriving.
Doing good or doing well. I’m not even sure what those phrases mean. I suppose they mean you aren't feeling bad but at the same time things could be better. I noticed I often perceive how I am doing in this “either-or” way. Things can always be better and things can always be worse. But that’s just a cognitive construct that adds little value for me. The point that brings value to me is that things are as they are, and to focus on how I am responding. How I am doing, is not a state of could be. It’s the reality of the moment and what I choose to do about it is what makes that moment positive or negative, empowering or defeating.
Happiness. That's a great place to be, but real life has a myriad and range of emotional states and to be in one only is not the same as thriving. Happiness is not a goal for me. My ability to be happy is. Am I capable of being happy? That matters to me more than being or not being happy at any one time. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not, but as long as I am capable of happiness, it will never elude me.
So now that we’ve examined what I understand Thriving not to be, let me share some conclusions regarding what it does mean and its implications for leading others.
THRIVING LEADERSHIP
For me, thriving means moving forward, flourishing, advancing one's self, one's ability to manage their emotions, focus their energy, and above all, consciously choose what to do and how to be in such a way that advances one's self towards their vision of the future. When applied to leadership, it becomes the attitude and will by which a leader fosters these same qualities in others, their team and organization.
Vanessa Gavan of Maximus, said in an article published in CEO Magazine, “In a thriving state of mind, an individual is firing on all cylinders. They are engaged and fulfilled, in control and growing, and full of positive energy.”
Thriving leaders seek to build thriving people, teams and organizations. Alison Coulter, Director of Health Services at Thrive Worldwide points to three principles alive in any team driven by a thriving leader. She says they are, 1.) “The people who make up a team are in good relationships with each other.” This means that their leader provides an environment for building trust and good relationships. 2.) “They need to know and understand what they are doing and how they are doing it.” This points to the clarity with which thriving leaders operate. and 3.) “They need to measure how they are doing and then know what they will do as a result – how will they respond when it works out / doesn’t work out”. The team’s thriving leader drives a culture of data based decision making wherein the focus is on how to respond to the reality revealed by facts and data not on factors outside of their control.
The Mercer organization says when teams and organizations are led by thriving leaders, “People see the bigger picture - beyond their to-do list today; People are empowered - not micromanaged; People are rewarded fairly - no gaps; People aspire to grow and this is the goal - not the by-product; and People bring their whole-self to work - without fear.” These are conditions for “flow”, an essential aspect of thriving.
FLOW
Wikipedia defines flow as, “The mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.” Thriving is a robust experience. It's being in the flow. That place where your attention and energy flow effortlessly because they are so grounded in your essence and talent, two things that are surely different for each individual. Thriving with flow is living to the fullest, while facing the challenges, dips and pains of everyday life. It's not happy or sad. It's strong, it's strength, it's forward motion with choice. And it's grounded in humility, gratitude and learning.
HUMILITY
Thriving is grounded in humility. It is not an egoic state. If it were, it would be tied to things like success, happiness, and other external measures of reward such as wealth and recognition. Thriving need not be dependent on anything, any specific time in space, or anyone outside of one’s self. Thriving begins with the humility to know what one is not and what one still has to learn. This humility combined with having a strong desire to learn those things we have yet to know, is to thrive. This humility is fueled by gratitude. Without gratitude, there is no thriving for me. It comes from our most humble place.
GRATITUDE
And the reasons to be thankful are as many or more than ever. We can be thankful for toothpaste being in the tube. When you think about it, even that doesn't have to be that way. Something so mundane, that we take for granted is actually a small miracle. In fact, there are hundreds of tiny miracles in our lives that we take for granted and that only a century ago would have been considered magic. My soft memory foam pillow, a consistent temperature in my home, a microwave oven, an accurate thermometer, aspirin, a toilet, and smooth roads, etc., are all worth being thankful for, and none of them are guaranteed. We just have become so accustomed to them that we think they are. If we stop to recognize what we have that is not actually guaranteed by any source, we can open ourselves to being even more humble and thankful which in turn fuels our ability to be open and learn.
LEARNING
Our ability to learn is tied to our ability to be curious. And curiosity is in turn tied to being open to possibilities and points of views that may be different than our own, maybe even complimentary. By definition, learning is to grow our knowledge base about things external and internal to ourselves. Learning is an act of growth and growth is an act of learning. As such, learning is essential to thrive. It doesn’t mean happiness, or greatness. It means forward motion. It means building upon one’s current knowledge base. Learning is a belief that the future is worth living for and that we can build a vision of our future which in turn fuels our ability to thrive.
CONCLUSION
The meaning of “thriving” has nothing to do with the pandemic. However, the importance of thriving leadership does and is elevated during our most challenging times. The pandemic only impacts things we can do, not who we are or how that gets expressed. The pandemic doesn't change anything about one’s essence or talents. It can only impact how a person temporarily feels about themselves, which is not the same as changing who they really are. They may experience self-doubt. They may experience emotional paralysis. They may lose their sense of flow. I know I have. As uncomfortable and scary as they can be, they are not permanent states of being, but emotional states to be processed.
Thriving is not an emotional state. It is neither happy nor sad, but instead is an empowered sense of forward motion fueled by humility, gratitude and learning so as to allow ourselves to flow and build a future we envision for ourselves. Thriving leaders foster this empowerment and flow in others, in their teams and in their organizations. As we all struggle through the impact of COVID-19 on our lives, perhaps we can find meaning by helping others thrive. Not easy, but certainly worthwhile.
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